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Hillary is my bitchy, elitist homegirl

Posted by pocochina on January 25, 2008

Apparently, I am a war-mongering, troop-hating, self-deluding crazy person, because I have failed the holier-than-thou mainstream liberal test of hating Hillary Clinton with my entire soul.  She-is-a-lying-bitch-and-wuz-mean….during a political campaign which has been nasty on all (at my last count, over seven thousand, though minus two as of yesterday) sides for over a year.  No, I still fail.  Clearly, I didn’t actually personally protest the Iraq War in 2003, I must have been drunk on Republican Juice* and just thought I was marching on the National Mall.  Man, that must have been some good shit.  Party on, Wayne!  I never get to be the pragmatic moderate!

But seriously, folks.  If I’m truly honest with myself, very few things – besides her unimpeachable record on choice, her lifelong feminism, her shining brilliance, her honest-to-God reverence for public policy, and her political acumen – have turned me towards Senator Clinton more than the virulent hatred to which she has been subject for almost as long as I could understand the news.

It was originally the MSM’s shock at a First Lady with a postgraduate degree  – my God, man, next they’ll be wanting the vote, and demanding to wear slacks!  And, horror or horrors, the Clintons actually appeared to be a marriage of equals!  Like both of them were human or something!  They weren’t going to pretend she didn’t have opinions, none of that waiting until behind closed doors to appreciate each others’ intelligence for Bill and Hillary, no siree Bob and Bobbi!  To  men and women around my age and slightly older or younger, our formative memories of whatever we knew of politics were built up around a couple of people who, whatever their sexual issues, loved each other for their minds.  Man, how often have you heard that line?!  And how often has it been true, for fuck’s sake?  And they made good on that promise – for a while, the diplomatic faces we turned towards the world were the continuously relevant Al Gore, and a bright, warm woman.

The Lewinsky thing, besides teaching me all manner of information my three months of abstinence-only indoctrination had conveniently left out, simply made me feel terrible for all the parties involved – even Bill, the cheater – and taught me the priceless value of the right to privacy, not just as it is enshrined in our Constitution, but as an experience which should be protected in our lives; that the line between public and private is far too fine.  I’m still working out what I think, theoretically, could be done about respecting a private sphere, outside of one’s capital-driven network, social issue.

When Hillary Clinton ran for Senate, I didn’t go “oh, God, no;”  I went “about friggin’ time.”

Interesting resource for anyone making up their minds:  http://www.guardian.co.uk/uselections08/hillaryclinton/story/0,,2245253,00.html.  (I’m a better source for closet Hillary supporters who are lonely and confused – and there’s a lot of them, especially considering her habit of winning nationwide polls and already leading in delegates, or for people who aren’t quite sure.)  Basically?  Hillary is slightly more likely to approve Pentagon spending, Obama slightly more likely to vote for lobbying reform.

And now the criticism is from two fronts, and it is exponentially more hysterical.  Hysterical in the sense of tickles one’s funny bone, and hysterical in the sense of ladies swooning in corsets.

The first is from the young hipster left.  (Frankly, I have never expected to have an argument with the Young Hipster Left, as I am a priestess of metro-urban-law student branch.)   You need not criticize Senator Obama in order to invoke his Trusty Band of Hillary-Haters; you need only suggest that they are perhaps a bit too focused on their search for a new, even worse word to describe Senator Clinton and everyone who dares consider supporting her.  In fact, I’m not sure he even knows about them, such is his post-partisan holiness.  There are good reasons – nay, great reasons – to actively like Sen. Obama, say he would make a great nominee and president; in fact, the same is true of Edwards.  It’s a silly misunderstanding, I think, on the part of a lot of people who really believe in one of the Dems – your vote is a zero-sum game, but your liking of and willingness to vote for the D in November aren’t.  That’s a win for us all.

Is her voting record perfect?  Far from it, and I was at least as disappointed as everyone else when she voted to authorize military force in Iraq.  This is, naturally, where I part ways with the Haters.  First of all, I fail to see where in Article I of the Constitution, the sole powers of Commander in Chief and Head of the CIA are vested in the junior Senator from NY.  No, she shouldn’t have made the vote, especially in hindsight.  But facing the choice, with your vote, of either sending people to war, or recognizing that the national intelligence services, along with the high command of the military, are no longer willing to be honest with you, the person making a life or death decision for the good of country and not, you hope, of party – it’s a long and convoluted and crushing choice, because it should be.

But she’s been lied to, and she’s been suffering because of decisions based on that lie, and anyone who thinks this isn’t going to get cleared up ASAP the instant she’s sworn in – both because it will be politically good for her, and because she will know it’s the right thing to do – is bein’ silly.

There is also much to like and dislike in the records of Senators Obama and Edwards.  So for me, and for a lot of people, the Democratic primary became not the lesser of three evils, but the choosing of a candidate in whom to believe.  And, as a natural contrarian (not to Obamaniacs, I respect your mania, and was in fact a Deanie Baby myself four years ago), I am incredibly aggravated by the expectation that I will totally NOT support that bitch Hillary, and I will do so ESPECIALLY in light of my refusal to examine the potential effects fifteen years of misogyny dumped on the woman’s head.  She’s taking stringent, and often justified, criticism from the left, and yet remained popular.

Then there’s the right front.  The Red Front, even.

In other news
*Contrary to popular belief, Republican Juice is neither Jack Daniels nor Grey Goose, but cheap vodka diluted with polluted drinking water.  It looks like a cheaper yet acceptable substitute to the uninitiated but it is actually a waste of money, plus it makes you vomit.  They may take our lives, but they can never take our liquor!  (Name that conservative movie star!)

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