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Dear Jackasses who Throw Around Important Legal Concepts to Justify Ignoring Bigotry and Bias Crime:

Posted by pocochina on October 5, 2007

(cut b/c possibly triggering)

“Innocent until proven guilty” means that in a court of law – that means arrested (with handcuffs like on COPS, which I suspect is where you get your STUPID IDEAS), arraigned (that’s the part on Law and Order where the pretty assistant DA snarks at the defendant, and the judge – that’s the person in the robe – snarks at everyone), and brought to trial – someone accused of a crime is not presumed to be guilty.  I know this is very, very hard on your self-important little soul, but YOU ARE NOT THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM.  NOT AT ALL.  NOT EVEN A LITTLE.  Neither am I, although the difference between us is that someday I will understand what I’m talking about, but you will always be a jackass.  So when I think some asshole on campus decided to commit a hate crime, based on what I know of the case, I am NOT INFRINGING UPON HIS RIGHTS AT ALL unless I am a judge, prosecutor, or jury member.  Telling me that I am makes you look stupid, and in fact, I suspect that you are.  Which is sad for you, but does wonders for the self-esteem of everyone around you.

Likewise “OMG FREEDOM OF SPEECH” does NOT mean that you can say any jackass thing that pops into your head without anyone criticizing you.  If x is “freedom of speech under the law” and y is “freedom from criticism for UNSPEAKABLE STUPIDITY,” then X DOES NOT EQUAL Y.  NOT IN ANY WAY.  NOT DOING ALGEBRA, OR FORMAL LOGIC, OR QUANTUM PHYSICS, OR VOODOO.  What it means is that you cannot be arrested for your jackass comment unless it is harassment, a direct threat, or “fire” in a crowded theater.  You can use your freedom of speech to say that you are not a complete moron, and I can then use mine to point out that in fact, yes you are.  As long as nobody gets arrested, nobody’s rights have been violated.  Saying that your rights have been violated just makes you looks stupid, and in case you missed it the first time, I suspect that you are.  The ACLU is not going to come running to your defence because you are a crybaby.  In fact, the ACLU probably hates you with a roaring passion, because you are making their VERY IMPORTANT work a hell of a lot harder.  By being a jackass.  (Basically?  Shove it, people *still* whining about Rush Limbaugh’s and Don Imus’ constitutional rights.  Their rights haven’t been violated.  They may be destroying the Republic, but they have not been arrested for doing so.)  Also – I’m looking at you, Bill O’Reilly, even though I’m afraid you can still turn me to stone through the teevee, it is not a violation of any constitutional for someone to complain when his professor throws a racist slur at him.  In fact, coming forward is a brave and important thing to do.  It is, however, a constitutional right to lie and bitch and moan about the Evil Leftists that God forbid are trying to make classrooms available and safe for everyone, physically and intellectually.  Even though it makes you a useless fucking jackass with a loofah problem.

Since we are on the subject of useless jackasses, we shall move on to the Grand Daddy Useless Jackass Cause of the last few years.  That Duke rape case?  The one that was so sad cuz, like, they almost missed the playoffs?  And OMG how could anyone believe that tramp?  All “she wasn’t sure if it was rape”  means, under North Carolina law, is that she couldn’t tell if they assaulted her with a penis or a broom handle.  G.S. 14-27.3, .2.  Look it up.  And next time you decide sexual assault is okay because you don’t like the victim, you should remember that you are an enormous jackass.
I realize there are lots of very, very stupid people on Facebook, maybe even stupider than you ALTHOUGH I DOUBT IT and that probably makes you feel good about yourself, and joining – not to mention starting, wow, you must have a HUGE unit –  a Facebook group that stealthily promotes hate instead of openly promoting hate probably makes you feel tough.   However, you are not.  It just shows everyone what a tool you are.

In conclusion,

You are a useless jackass.

in total contempt of you and everything you believe in,


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